Recovery Hub
For family and friends concerned about a child's behaviour
Most sexual behaviour in children and young people is part of normal development. This includes behaviour that involves another child. However, there is some behaviour that is considered problematic or harmful. It can be difficult to know what to do, but there is support available.
On this page:
> Sexual development in children and young people
> What is harmful sexual behaviour in children and young people?
> What do I do if a child or young person in my care is engaging in harmful sexual behaviour?
> Harmful Sexual Behaviour Services
Please note: the term children and young people on this page is used to describe those aged under 18 years.
Sexual development in children and young people
Sexual exploration and development in children and young people are a healthy and natural part of growing up.
Sexual behaviour in children and young people is considered typical and age appropriate when:
it’s exploratory and playful (may be accompanied by laughter, spontaneity, curiosity and experimentation)
it’s with children of a similar age and developmental status
the child can be easily diverted from this behaviour and can stop if asked.
Some examples of common sexual behaviour in children and young people include:
touching or rubbing their own genitals, including exploratory masturbation
touching or looking at nude bodies of other children or familiar adults.
kissing or holding hands with peers
“show me yours, I’ll show you mine” conversations with peers
stories/questions/names regarding private parts and body functions with peers
for older adolescents, having consensual sex with a similar age partner.
Typical sexual behaviour for children and young people change over their life course and environment. For more information on age-appropriate sexual behaviour in children and young people, South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault has a useful fact sheet.
If you observe sexual behaviour in your child, consider whether it is appropriate for their age and developmental stage. If it is, provide a calm, corrective response letting the child know the appropriate time or place for the behaviour.
What is harmful sexual behaviour in children and young people?
Harmful sexual behaviour (HSB) is a term used to describe sexual behaviour by children and young people that is developmentally inappropriate and considered harmful to themselves or others.
Sexual behaviour in children and young people may be seen as harmful if it:
is not considered developmentally, socially and culturally expected
is compulsive, excessive or degrading
causes harm to the child or young person engaging in the behaviour, or to others
involves coercion or manipulation (for example, using bribery or aggression)
is unwanted or not consensual
continues after parents or carers instruct the child or young person to stop the behaviour and/ or set appropriate boundaries
happens with a younger, older or more vulnerable child.
Harmful sexual behaviour can take many different forms and will differ depending on the age and developmental stage of the child or young person. It does not always involve direct physical contact.
For specific examples of harmful sexual behaviour, you can read this fact sheet created by the National Centre for Action on Child Sexual Abuse.
What do I do if a child or young person in my care is engaging in harmful sexual behaviour?
When talking about a child or young person engaging in harmful sexual behaviour, remember that the child or young person may not understand that what they are doing is inappropriate.
If you have concerns that a child or young person is displaying harmful sexual behaviour, it’s important to show understanding and compassion, taking time to talk with them about why their behaviour is inappropriate or causing harm. Do not punish, dismiss or downplay the behaviour.
It is important that you seek advice from a professional and if required, connect the child or young person with specialist professional support. Most children and young people who receive support will stop engaging in harmful sexual behaviour and re-establish age and stage appropriate behaviour.
If you have concerns about a child or young person’s immediate safety, contact 000.
Harmful sexual behaviour services
There are Harmful Sexual Behaviour services located across Victoria that provide support to children and young people.
These services offer responsive, developmentally appropriate treatment programs for children and young people who engage in harmful sexual behaviour. Specialist counsellor advocates work to support the young person, as well as their family and caregivers, to understand how and why this behaviour has emerged, and re-establish age and stage appropriate behaviour through age-appropriate education, therapeutic support and exploring strengths.
These services also offer secondary consultations for other professionals concerned about a child or young person, e.g. educators and medical practitioners.
Below you can find a list of our members who provide harmful sexual behaviour services. To get support for your child or discuss your concerns with someone, call or email your local service.
If you’re not sure if your child’s sexual behaviour is harmful, that’s OK. Our services will advise you on the appropriate course of action .
Live in Melbourne? There are four Harmful Sexual Behaviour services in Melbourne.
Live in regional Victoria? All specialist sexual assault services in regional and rural areas provide services. If you’re unsure which one is your local service, you can search your suburb or postcode on our service map.
Live in another Australian state or territory? Support available for harmful sexual behaviour can vary between states. A good place to start looking for information is Raising Children Network, a website funded by the Australian Department of Social Services.
SERVICES IN THE MELBOURNE METRO AREA
The Australian Childhood Foundation
Location: Mitcham and Shepparton
Phone: 1300 381 581
Email: support@childhood.org.au
Website: www.childhood.org.au/
SASH – Support After Sexual Harm
Location: Based at the Royal Children’s Hospital (RCH), providing services in Werribee and at the RCH in Parkville.
Phone: 03 9345 6391
Email: sash@rch.org.au
Website: www.rch.org.au/sash
Kids First
Location: 70 Altona Street, Heidelberg West & 273 Settlement Rd, Thomastown
Phone: 03 9450 0900
Email: info@kidsfirstaustralia.org.au
Website: kidsfirstaustralia.org.au
South Eastern CASA
Location: 867 Centre Road, East Bentleigh with services also at Monash University (Clayton and Caulfield campuses), McCrae, Hastings, Cranbourne, Dandenong, Pakenham and Seaford.
Phone: 03 8769 2200
Email: secasa@monashhealth.org
Website: www.secasa.org.au
Regional/rural services
Ballarat Centre Against Sexual Assault (Ballarat CASA)
Location: Ballarat Health Services, Sebastopol Complex, Corner of Vale and Edward Street, Sebastopol
Phone: 5320 3933
Email: casa@bhs.org.au
Website: ballaratcasa.org.au
Centre Against Sexual Assault Central Victoria (CASA CV)
Location: 71 Bridge Street, Bendigo with services also at Echuca, Kyabram, Kyneton and Maryborough
Phone: 03 5441 0430
Email: casacv@casacv.org.au
Website: www.casacv.org.au
Centre Against Violence
Location: 29 Templeton Street, Wangaratta, with services also at Wodonga and Benalla
Phone: 03 5722 2203
Email: admin@cav.org.au
Website: centreagainstviolence.org.au
Gippsland Centre Against Sexual Assault (Gippsland CASA)
Location: 31-41 Buckley Street, Morwell with services also at Bairnsdale, Leongatha, Orbost, Sale, Warragul and Wonthaggi
Phone: 03 5134 3922
Email: mail@gippscasa.org
Website: www.gcasa.org.au
Mallee Sexual Assault Unit
Location: Suite 1, 144 – 146, Lime Avenue, Mildura with services also at Cohuna, Kerang, Ouyen, Malle Track, Robinvale, Sea Lake, Swan Hill and Wycheproof
Phone: 03 5025 5400
Email: info@msau-mdvs.org.au
Website: www.msau-mdvs.org.au
The Sexual Assault & Family Violence Centre (SAFV Centre)
Location: The SAFV Centre provides services in both Baron and Wimmera. In Barwon, the SAFV Centre is located at Level 1, 59-63 Spring Street, Geelong West with services also at Drysdale and Wathaurong Aboriginal Co-Operative. In Wimmera, the SAFV Centre is located at 25 Roberts Avenue, Horsham with services also available at Grampians Community Health in Stawell, in Hamilton and Warracknabeal.
Barwon phone: 03 5222 4318
Horsham phone: 03 5381 1211
Email: admin@safvcentre.org.au and wimmera@safvcentre.org.au
Website: www.safvcentre.org.au
South Western Centre Against Sexual Assault (SW CASA)
Location: 279 Koroit Street, Warrnambool with services also at Camperdown, Deakin Uni in Warrnambool, in Heywood and Portland.
Phone: 5564 4144
Email: casa@swh.net.au
Website: southwesthealthcare.com.au/service/centre-against-sexual-assault-sw-casa
